Well, If You Say So...

I often use analogies to help build my students' logic and thinking skills. The idea is that they identify the relationship that exists between the two words on the complete side... and then apply that same relationship to the other. Many of these are simple, ready opportunities for the students to feel successful:

HAT is to HEAD as GLOVE is to ________

But every so often, an example comes along that offers a comical glimpse into how children see the world. This morning's analogy was a case in point:

HOP : RABBIT :: SLITHER : ________

Several hands went up when I asked for volunteers to answer. I called upon a boy, and restated the analogy for him to complete. "Hop is to Rabbit as Slither is to... "

"Woman!" came his confident reply.

I'm sure a smile escaped my lips as I searched his face for any sign or mischief or humor. I found none. Likewise, none of his peers seemed amused by the answer, though a few stretched their hands higher into the air, affirming that they considered it an error.

Still smiling, I said, "Well, how about we see how some others may have answered." Shortly, we settled on "SNAKE" as the preferred answer, but I'm likely not to look at the word 'slither' the same way again.

You Watched *What* Kind of Movie??!

My colleague was teaching his class about the /or/ sound, and how it can be made in the English language. He asked the students to brainstorm words containing the sound. Gradually the list on the dry-erase board began to grow:

or for four core war soar poor

My colleague addressed the next raised hand, after which a little boy offered a word. Phonetically, it sounded exactly like "whore."

"Ahhh," the teacher replied, buying a moment. "Do you know what that means?"

"Not really."

"Well, can you use it in a sentence?"

"Um, well, like I watched a 'whore' movie?"

"Oh, right!" my friend replied. Smiling, he turned and added "horror" to the list.

Overheard....

Sometimes the funniest "chats" are those children have apart from adults. Here are two I recently overheard:

"Is Abraham Lincoln still alive?"

"No, he died a long time ago. Someone shot him right in the head."

"Ouch."

AND:

"Hey, guess what!"

"What."

"It's only 18 more days 'til we find out if my dad's girlfriend is a boy or a girl!"

One for the 'Record' Books

Today a student asked me, " Miss Stultz, what is the 'Gineous' Book of World Records?

Strangely, I was sure what I heard was "Miss Stultz, what is the Hideous Book of World Records?" Immediately, I had visions of a volume celebrating all-things-gross-and-disgusting--you know, something cataloguing things like: longest fingernails, worst nosebleed, and most shocking find-from-the-back-of-the-fridge. Sadly, not only do such things exist, but they tend to hold broad appeal for children.

Before I answered, another child corrected her, "No, it's the Genius Book of World Records."

A third child got it right, "No, it's the Guinness Book of World Records."

And still another, very authoritatively, "No. Guinness is beer!"

Decimal Points... EVERYWHERE!

Newly introduced to decimals--the decimal point, and decimal place value--my students received their first homework assignment, to search for examples of decimals in their daily life. The next morning, two girls stood at my desk. One held her homework, still totally blank. Pushing it toward me, she complained,

"I couldn't find ANY decimals at all!"

Before I could address the evident difficulty, the girl beside her spoke up,

"It's easy, just go on the Internet. EVERY Website has decimals."

At this point, I'm sure I looked quite confused myself. A comically long pause ensued as we both stared back at her, heads cocked sideways awaiting her explanation, until, mildly irritated at how obtuse we both must be, she exclaimed,

"Duh! Um, hel-lo! DOT com!????"

Elementary, My Dear Watson. Definitely "Elementary"

At the end of silent reading time, I record each child's book and current page number.

"Davin, what did you read today?"

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, by Sherlock Homeless."

A Bit of Revisionist History

Another gem shared by a colleague... wherein a 4th grader learned that the solo explorer "Lewisan Clark" was, in reality two people....

"Mr. A., who was Lewisan Clark?"

"You should say, "who were Lewis and Clark."

"No, Lewisan Clark. Who was he?"

"It's Lewis and Clark. Two people: Lewis. and Clark. Those are their last names."

"Oh-hhhh!"